


am i or the others crazy?

by finlandwrites



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: (i have an honourifics kink and y'all can't say shit), (i need to be happy and this is how imma do it), (there will be a smut spin-off at some point), Alpha!Felix, Alpha!Mark, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Beta!PJ, Beta!dean, Kitsune, M/M, Nogitsune, Omega!Dan, Omega!Jack, Omega!Louise, Omega!Marzia, Omega!Sean, Violence, abilities, alpha!Phil, beta!Jack, honourifics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2018-11-01 18:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10927593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finlandwrites/pseuds/finlandwrites
Summary: In 2020 1 in every 4 people had Kitsune abilities.By 3020 that number dropped to 1 in every 10,000.Public misinformation and hysteria dropped that number down to 1 in every 20,000 by 3040.The government took the matter into their own hands and recruited every Alpha Kitsune Guardian into the military. This caused the number to climb to 1 in every 16,000.By 4050, with the added recruitment of Omegas, the number soared to 1 in every 12,000.But what happens when chauvinistic Alphas try to phase out Omega's and the government begins keeping secrets?(or the weird creature, magic, A/B/O, military AU absolutely no one asked for except my brain at 4am after 18 cups of coffee and a monster)Full Title Quote:"The question that sometimes drives me hazy- am I or the others crazy?" -Albert Einstein





	1. Citizen Information Papers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Bit of a prelude to this monster of a fic,
> 
> This has been posted by me once but it was over a year ago. If you see a double posting, I am sorry. I'm going to keep the original up for about a week so everyone has a chance to transition over to this one. 
> 
> This fic is a fucking roller coaster. I'm a humour and an angst writer and for that I sincerely apologise. If I make you cry from laughter and/or pain it means I'm doing my job right. 
> 
> I'm not even halfway done with chapter one and I've already cried but that could be because of the copious amounts of caffeine I consume on a daily basis.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoy writing it.
> 
> Jane <3

**Alphas-**

Alphas are most commonly the "tough guy" and have very a dominating presence. Each Alpha has a special mark that their mate carries, these marks appear in the Alpha’s Elemental colour. Alpha's cannot permanently mark an unwilling mate, if a bond is unwanted then it will never form. Alpha's are naturally protective and will go overboard when things get out of hand. Alpha’s have slightly longer canines than Omega’s but their venom is less potent. A lot still follow chauvinistic traditions from 2020 despite the year being 4050.

 

**Beta-**

Betas are peaceful creatures but if threatened their fangs can puncture veins, they don’t have venom like Alpha’s and Beta’s but it still hurts like a bitch when they bite you. Beta's are loyal and unwavering, they will follow their Alpha's if they trust it is right. If they sense something wrong they attempt to talk the Alpha out of it and are not above laying their Alpha out flat, respectfully of course. Beta's are naturally good at spotting traps and are normally pretty chill.

 

**Omega-**

Omegas talk an awful lot but rest assure that their bite is much much worse than their bark, their venom is 12x stronger than an Alpha’s and they’re very liberal with its use. Omega’s will only defer to their Alpha once they are mated and will never defer to a Beta or Alpha who they don’t know. Omega’s can carry young no matter their gender but male Omegas have a higher percentage of Alpha and Omega offspring than a female Omega. Omega’s can control their scent and normally have the most control of their Elemental abilities, making them highly sought out for spying. They have a keen sense of direction and will always be able to pinpoint their mate and family with ease.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Series Specific Terms-**

 

**Kitsune Guardian Power Scale:**

 

**1-3**

Most of the general Kitsune Guardian population falls here. They have little to no actually control over their abilities but can use them.

 

**3-6**

Most government officials and military members fall in this bracket. They have dubious mastery over their abilities and can use rare exploits of them.

 

**6-9**

Only Special OPs team members have reached this status. They completely mastery over their ability and its many facets. They are extremely dangerous when pissed off. Anyone in this bracket has a visibly tail and ears, normally made or resembling their ability.

 

**Delta-**

A group of 3 or more members of the same class. This normally applies to military groups and other government teams. An Alpha Delta is a team used mainly for Mercenary Missions because Alpha’s can take and deal a lot of damage before they need to fall back. (Think of them like the Titan Class from Destiny.) A Beta Delta team is mostly used for takeover and data retrieval missions because they’re surprisingly good at persuasion. An Omega Delta team is used for undercover and infiltration missions due to their scent control and how easy it is to get pity.

 

**Theta-**

A group of 3 or more members from different classes. It is normally one Alpha, one Omega, and one beta but there can always be more beta’s. Some Theta Alpha’s will take in unmated or previously mated Omega’s until they mate or join a new Theta.

 

**Zeta-**

A group of Delta children, children whose parents are Delta Agents. The government supplies care and protection for the Delta Children while their parents are active agents and continue to support them if their parents are killed in action. The top of their Citizen Information Papers will say Zeta (Branch) on it with the branch their mother was a part of. 97% of these children join the government after they come of age.

 

 

* * *

 

 

**ALPHA CITIZEN INFORMATION PAPERS**

 

 **Name:** Phil Lester

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** AD6

 **Class:** Alpha

 **Ability:** Barrier

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Lead Agent

 **Spouse:** Dan Howell

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Mark Fischbach

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** AD6

 **Class:** Alpha

 **Ability:** Grenadier

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Long-Range

 **Spouse:** Sean Mcloughlin

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Felix Kjellberg

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** AD6

 **Class:** Alpha

 **Ability:** Whirlwind

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Short-Range

 **Spouse:** Marzia Brigoli

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**BETA CITIZEN INFORMATION PAPERS**

 

 **Name:** Jack Howard

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** BD4

 **Class:** Beta

 **Ability:** Time-Warp

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Lead Agent

 **Spouse:** Dean Dobbs

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Dean Dobbs

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** BD4

 **Class:** Beta

 **Ability:** Missiles

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Long-Range

 **Spouse:** Jack Howard

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** PJ Liguori

 **Age:** 22

 **Unit:** BD4

 **Class:** Beta

 **Ability:** Arachnid

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Short-Range

 **Spouse:** Sophie Newton; DECEASED

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**OMEGA CITIZEN INFORMATION PAPER**

 

 **Name:** Dan Howell

 **Age:** 22

 **Unit:** OD1

 **Class:** Omega

 **Ability:** Necromancy

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Spouse:** Phil Lester

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Sean Mcloughlin

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** OD1

 **Class:** Omega

 **Ability:** Demon Claws

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Spouse:** Mark Fischbach

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Marzia Bisognin

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** OD1

 **Class:** Omega

 **Ability:** Poison Gas

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Spouse:** Felix Kjellberg

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 **Name:** Louise Pentland

 **Age:** 24

 **Unit:** AD6, BD4, OD1

 **Class:** Omega

 **Ability:** Lighting

 **Power Level:** 9 (masked as a 6 on official reports to throw off suspicion)

 **Branch:** Special OPs

 **Position:** Tech Communications

 **Spouse:** N/A

 **Offspring:** N/A

 

 

* * *

 

 

**ABILITIES-**

 

**Barrier-**

They can create an almost impenetrable force field around anything.

 

**Grenadier-**

They create and subsequently throw fucking grenades.

 

**Whirlwind-**

They fucking spin the shit outta people.

 

**Time-Warp-**

They can slow down, speed up and turn back time.

 

**Missiles-**

They can create and launch heat-seeking missiles.

 

**Arachnid-**

They have these sharp arachnid like legs that fucking stab the shit outta people.

 

**Necromancy-**

They can call on the dead. The spirits called on are normally the same gender, class, and/or age as the caster. The stronger the caster, the more diverse the spirits.

 

**Demon Claws-**

Their fingers lengthen into claw like formations that can extended up to twice the persons body length. The claws themselves are poisonous and hurt like a fucking bitch.

 

**Toxic Gas-**

The gas normally leaks out from their hands but some Toxic Gas Users have been known to possess the Kiss of Death, in which they breathe toxic gas on command.

 

**Lighting-**

They can send electric volts through their fingertips and create full body charges, shocking anyone who touches them. Some have even been known to set shit on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wear your fucking seat-belts and drive at the speed limit.
> 
> [please]
> 
> Jane <3


	2. Alpha Delta 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alpha Delta 6.
> 
> Phil
> 
> Mark
> 
> Felix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun with this, my pretties!
> 
> (Louise is written a bit like Penelope Garcia but SHUSH)
> 
> Jane <3

* * *

 

 

“Fischbach! Do you have Kjellberg’s six?” Phil barked into his comm system. He couldn’t really tell if he was shouting because being under constant gun fire tended to make your hearing a little wonky.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Lester! It’s a comm system in your helmet, not an air horn!” Ok so he _was_ shouting, good to know.

 

“Yeah, Lester, Fischbach has a point. The point of a silent infiltration is silence.” Phil glared even though he knew Felix couldn’t see him glaring, petulance sometimes wasn’t a good look.

 

“Oh, stuff it, Wind Boy. Just get in, do your weird spinny thing and get out. If you don’t come back unscathed I’ll let Marzia deal with you.” Phil was on the opposite side of the building but he could practically see Felix tense up and go a few shades paler. He heard Felix coughing over the comm system and laughed to himself.

 

“Alright, Fischbach, I need you to run distractions.”

 

“Blow shit up?” Phil could hear the evil, sadistic grin in Mark’s voice.

 

“Yes, Fischbach, blow shit up. Just don’t blow up Kjellberg or important targets.” Mark gave a half-hearted, “It was _one_ time, Lester, let a man live!”, which was followed by Felix’s “You shot a fucking missle at me, Fischbach.” and Phil’s silence.

 

“Alright, boys. Let’s give them hell.” Mark whooped and Phil saw more than heard the first missile.

 

“Try to avoid blowing me up too, asshat.” Mark just cackled as more missiles rained down on the warehouse they were staking out. Phil threw up a barrier around the whole building to make sure nobody got in or out. He leaned up against an outside wall and flipped open the holographic projector in his wrist cuff. Phil typed in his access code and the cuff lit up.

 

“Pentland?” The cuff went dark before an image of Louise popped up.

 

“Office of All-Mighty Wisdom and Power, how can I help you?” Phil huffed out a laugh at the omega’s absurd greeting. She was always a little eccentric, even for a techie.

 

“I need Jason Godfrey’s CIP and any other relevant information that might pop up.” The sound of Louise typing filled his headset for a moment before she began talking again.

 

“Okie-dokie. Jason Godfrey is a 26 year old single Alpha with a power level of 4 and the ability to spit poison. He was dishonourably discharged last year due to murder allegations. Yikes, what a party pooper.”

 

“Alright, thanks Pentland. Call me back if you see anything fishy in his file or any one he’s associated with.”

 

“You betcha, buh-bye.” Phil’s cuff went dark and he snapped it close. This mission just got a lot more complicated.

 

Fuck.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Even though Phil had told Felix the asshole spit poison the Swedish Alpha still got close enough to be spit on. Not only did Godfrey spit poison, he spit skin eroding poison. Mark and Phil had to practically carry Felix into headquarters. People started swarming the team in the lobby, asking questions and being annoying. Phil was busy supporting Felix’s entire dead weight to yell at people to leave them alone.

 

“I’m giving everyone thirty seconds to back the fuck up before I call Sean.”

 

The group scattered in less than five seconds.

 

Mark doesn’t make empty threats and Sean has a sadistic streak. The ability to make your hands into demonically sharp claws and an enjoyment of others pain is not a good mixture. Phil cringed thinking of the last time Mark let Sean loose on someone, poor bloke still couldn’t look at knives without crying. A few people still hung around, worried about Felix or just to be up to date on the last drama. Phil pushed Felix into Marks arms and rounded the stragglers with a glare.

 

“Scadaddle or I’ll yell for Dan.” The remaining people scattered, tripping over one another. Sean and his creepy knife hands was one thing but compared to Dan and his creepy dead people he was no match. Apparently, the Necromancer was “scary” and “needed to be detained” but Phil thought it was cute.

 

Phil flipped open his cuff and typed in his access code before calling for Louise. A few seconds passed before the blonde’s face filled the screen.

 

“Yeah, boss?” She pushed her cat-eye glasses back up her nose.

 

“I need you to get Jenna and Julien. Felix got hurt.” Jenna and Julien were the Special OPs mission healers. Normally, Phil would only call for Jenna or Julien but Felix was currently melting and Phil figured both would be needed.

 

“Did Godfrey spit on him? I told you guys the bastard spit. Why does no-one listen to me? Once he’s healed send him to my office.” Phil cringed at the thought of being in Louise’s office with the Omega, alone. She didn’t have demon claws or summon the dead but she did shock and that hurt like a motherfucker.

 

“Don’t do too much damage. Save some for Marzia.” Felix heard the name of his Omega and began mumbling.

 

“Don’t tell Marzia! Please, Phil, in the name of all things fucking holy, do not tell Marzia.” Louise cackled from Phil’s wrist cuff and cut the feed. Felix groaned and leaned further into Mark. All three Alpha’s were extremely lucky that their Omega’s were out on a mission and couldn’t beat the shit out of them, Felix especially.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Their peace did not last long. Louise spread the news of Felix to Marzia almost as soon as she got off the call with Phil and the Italian Omega was not pleased. The door of Felix’s healing room flew open to reveal a very angry Toxic Gas Omega.

 

“Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg! I get a call from Louise telling me you got skin eroding poison spit on your face a mere week after you almost get your leg bitten off by a HellHound. Would you care to explain?” Felix had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. Phil would look ashamed too if a pissed off Omega who breathes toxic gas was standing eye to eye with him. He’d probably piss himself if Marzia looked at him like that. Dan and his weird wraiths were one thing, Marzia and her toxic breathe were a whole new fucking subject.

 

“I wasn’t expecting him to get that close to me. The last poison spitter was a fucking coward and didn’t even  get within three feet of Mark.” Marzia put her hand on her hip and rubbed her face while shaking her head.

 

“That was Mark. You’re Felix. Mark throws small bombs and you make tiny tornados.” At least she wasn’t threatening him yet.

 

“You pull a stunt like that again and I will breathe so much fucking toxic gas while you sleep that the tox screen comes back with 4 pages.” The Omega was honestly one of the terrifying people on this planet.

 

“Now that we’ve covered that, are you okay? Did Jenna and Julien fix you? How bad was the poison?” The scariest part of Marzia was how fast she could flip between murder and love. She was adorable and endearing but also fucking terrifying. Every Alpha in the room gave a collective shiver, a mourning gesture for Felix.

 

“Considering it was skin eroding poison, the damage was actually fairly minimal. Felix got away with bottom of the barrel injuries due to Phil throwing up a barrier up around Felix, which took the brunt of the poison.” Jenna pushed herself off the wall she had been leaning on while watching the drama unfold. Julien was sitting in the chair beside her, sniggering at Felix’s predicament. Jenna is an Internal Healer, someone who heals internal injuries, while Julien is an External Healer, someone who heals external injuries. Jenna handled Felix’s injuries because Julien was too busy laughing at how fucked Felix was going to be.

 

“Are you okay?” Marzia flipped her attention to Phil, her own injured Alpha momentarily forgotten. “Do I need to call Dan in here?” Phil’s eyes widened and he pushed himself back up against the wall.

 

“No, no, no, no. That’s not necessary. I’m fine. It just ate a hole threw my barrier and it won’t regenerate for a few hours.” Dan would fucking kill him if he found out Phil got injured protecting someone else. Dan had a hero complex but Phil had an even bigger one, and they both agreed to not act on them.

 

“I’ll, uh, I’ll tell him later.” Marzia looked skeptical but she wasn’t going to push the subject when her Alpha was laid up in a healing room.

 

Phil thanked the heavens Felix was spit on and not him because Dan would kick his ass and Phil didn’t need that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wear your fucking seat-belts and drive at the speed limit.
> 
> [please.]
> 
> jane <3


End file.
